When Ami * got in touch with me, she had been experiencing anxiety during her one-year relationship most of the time. At first, she attributed it to the new concerns of the relationship and not being used to dating “such a nice guy.” After a while, he blamed his ‘baggage’, intolerance and being ‘too sensitive’. As is the way we minimize the meaning of something and discard our feelings, anxiety keeps worrying and increasing. The next step was to keep her awake at night.
One of life’s constant challenges is to discern whether the anxiety we are experiencing is due to past problems, insecurities, or our intuition that tries to alert us to something that requires our action. This is not something we just “know” how to do. Social conditioning taught us to distrust our feelings and limits in favor of being obedient and compliant.
Ami did what many of us do: rationalize our anxiety so much that we miss the wood of the trees.
We build a case against ourselves and wonder why we are experiencing “unreasonable” anxiety. We are dedicated to proving that we are wrong or defective instead of acknowledging that the body, even if it is a little or even far off base, is trying to communicate something. Our anxiety indicates that we are not based on the present. We are responding based on old pain, fear, and guilt or going against ourselves. Or both.
We ask ourselves, “Why am I anxious for no reason?” And it’s not that “there’s no reason”; we are rationalizing, minimizing, and ignoring ourselves.
Ami was anxious about the whole relationship because she called herself I should not feeling anxious because he was “friendly,” “polite,” and “funny.” In relation to previous relationships, he thought this was “better.”
Their feelings were talked about because the relationship looked good on paper.
It was like there it had being something drastic and unequivocal to fix their feelings. As if she had to be a serial killer or something, not just someone who wasn’t the right person for her. In the absence of a major drama, he overlooked the obvious: his anxiety communicated that he was in the wrong relationship. They were incompatible. Her emotional state within the relationship was the drastic and unequivocal evidence she needed to act. She did not understand it and was trapped in a cycle of excessive thoughts and fear of being wrong. His body understood, though.
Note on the side: Night terrors or other symptoms that could be terrifying that you only started having when you said goodbye to a relationship or when you pushed on with something are the big ass clues going on! I want to diagnose or find important evidence. The symptoms they are the evidence!
Anxiety wants our peace of mind and, if necessary, our action. We need to confirm the true state of affairs in order to be grounded in reality. Or we just have to be more discriminating with the help we render toward other people.
Therefore, we must take action that reflects the security that we are in, or take action to resolve the situation. We need to be careful that anxiety does a better job of alerting us.
One of the most useful things I’ve learned from listening to myself and teaching others how to do it is that intuition is not more worried about What is. Unlike ego, fear, and criticism, it’s not about letting you know what will happen in a hundred or even a thousand years. Nor does he care about the past or the power journeys like winning and being right.
Intuition is now.
When we have a habit of not listening to ourselves or have not been able to listen and act in a certain area, anxiety is the body’s way of saying that we are misappropriating our energies or that we have lost a lot. of “us”. messages’.
The best thing about anxiety was forcing me to acknowledge the accumulation of lost messages and delayed actions. A panic attack, horrible as it was, ended up being one of the best things that ever happened to me, serving a massive wake-up call.
One of the life lessons we often experience throughout our lives is to get what we want (or what others want for us) and to take action when we realize it is wrong. For us.
That’s why I hear so many people finally getting the “perfect job” or achieving their dreams, only to be harassed by startling emotions that convey that this is not the way for them. They feel like them it should be happy, that they it should to be able to squeeze in this life, that they it should to be able to make it work.
Life always speaks to us.
It doesn’t mean we have to take anxiety for granted, but we have to make friends. enough that we can see him as an ally who is doing his best to alert us to something about our inner state and an aspect of our life.
To hate ourselves for experiencing anxiety will be not more tighten their grip, especially because we will respond in less than supportive ways. By first accepting that this is how we feel, we have the opportunity to assess why. The clue will be in what we continue to deny, rationalize, minimize, excuse, or assume. We can address the underlying causes so that we can trigger less and be able to speak and act out of the wave of emotions. O we can open ourselves to understand the current nature of our lives. Yes, we may be forced to feel uncomfortable, to make changes that go against the “hauries” or the grand master plan. Relief and inner peace, however, are on the other side.
Our intuition he won’t always tell us what we want to hear, but that always he has his back to us.
When we cultivate a more conscious relationship with ourselves, we gather the intelligence needed to understand our emotions. Based on the present, anxiety should not be blamed for something “wrong” with us. We can recognize insecurities, recognize where past experiences appear, and respond consciously to the present. The more we do this, the fewer cases of being held hostage or confused by their presence. We may not be the best friends of anxiety, but we treat it as a friendly push, sometimes a push, to take care of ourselves.
Want more help understanding your relationship with anxiety or learning to listen? Check out anxiety sessions and intuition sessions.
* Name changed for privacy.
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