You may have heard of love bombings, but have you heard of other types of relationship bombs? Below are the three types of relationship bombs that can get you back to toxic dynamics.
? Love bomb – the use of excessive affection, great gestures and promises of the future as a tactic of manipulation. But just when you feel high for all the love and attention, it is followed by a period of withdrawal, avoidance, or abuse. Then you are left wondering what you did wrong or obsessed to regain that old feeling.
? Anger bomb – is when someone provokes you so you can fight with him. For the bomber, a little attention, even anger, is better than no attention. Also, for those addicted to chaos, getting into a fight or a dramatic text exchange can create a wave of endorphins.
? Seduction bomb -There are two types of this. One is when the bomber acts helpless and pulls on your ropes of empathy and guilt for you to help him. The other is to use provocative seduction to get you hooked again.
Don’t we all like the bomb to some extent?
You may be wondering: Aren’t these things part of courtship and a normal relationship?
The difference between healthy romantic openings and love bombing is that the latter is used as a manipulation tactic. The intention is to strive and maintain control and power over you.
If you are in the early stages of this, communicate to the person that you do not want to rush the relationship and that the constant shower of affection / gestures makes you feel uncomfortable. If you’ve been stuck in a back-and-forth dynamic with someone who clearly uses these relationship bombs to control you, it’s important that you stop participating in the push-pull.
The intensity cycle keeps you hooked on the addictive cycle
How do we stop the addictive cycle with an ex or a toxic person?
It can be very difficult to get out of toxic dynamics and you may want to seek professional help to support you in the process. Here are some tips that may also help:
Create, maintain and enforce your limits
If you start a relationship and notice that they are coming very strong with romantic openings, don’t just react to the pace they are setting. Have a conversation to let them know you want to slow things down and get to know each other over time. If the person invests in creating a healthy connection, they will not try to rush or pressure you. Practice communicating your limits.
Get another perspective
You may not be sure if you are in a toxic cycle because, if you have been lit with gas, you doubt your own judgment and perspective of reality. It is important that you talk to someone you trust and, if possible, to a mental health professional to get an objective point of view.
Prepare for withdrawal
If you recognize that you are in a toxic and addictive cycle with someone, you must recognize that it is an addictive cycle in which you are. You have to be aware of reality and not fantasy based on how the person can change. Understand that you are really going through a withdrawal period and will need a support system to help you overcome it. Create a strategy of healthy coping mechanisms and tools that you can use to calm down and regulate emotionally when you feel the anxiety of withdrawal. Daily meditation, mindfulness and self-compassion practices will help you ride the emotional waves that follow.
You can also join a community like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous or go on a separation retreat focused on creating healthy relationship patterns.
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