It’s back to that time of year when my inbox and direct messages are filled with people insisting on how to deal with family obligations and expectations during the holiday season. There are three things you can do to help prevent anxiety and control your anxiety levels:
# 1 What are you doing? to want do and what you feel required do?
The gap between desire and obligation is where tension, frustration, anxiety, and resentment reside. Be honest because then you will be able to find out your next course of action and operate from a more authentic place. When you choose from a standalone site instead of complying, I won’t o your relationships hurt. Check out my four-step podcast episode to assertively communicate what you do or don’t want to do.
# 2 Make plans for the sweet spot of your relationship
The biggest trap people fall into with their family is living in La La Land and ignoring the data experience. If you know that the best time to spend with your family is a few hours or a day or a couple of days (or whatever) before it becomes handbags at dawn, you disagree with a week! If you know that Uncle Tom always likes to deal with very uncomfortable or tense conversations, don’t have them. This will not be the occasion when your family spontaneously catches fire at The Brady Bunch! Find out the sweet spot of your relationship, whether it’s the amount of time you spend together or how much time you spend together and stick to it. And if you know the warning signs when the drama is about to begin, be prepared for your exit strategy. Check out this episode about family moving away to learn more about “sweet spots.”
# 3 Communicate clearly and directly. Don’t leave it to the last minute!
Look, I get it. Sometimes I have to encourage myself to make these awkward calls. It’s not easy to disappoint people or try to control what might be their escaped train expectations. You may be nervous about getting caught up in something or having problems. Suddenly you’re no longer forty-four and you’re ten! However, communicate your intentions and plans as soon as possible. If you keep putting it on, the next one will be the last awkward moment. And then you will feel very bad for being honest and forcing yourself to do something, o you will make them angry because they feel messy. Although it may not sound like it at the moment, most humans like to know where they are. It’s okay for them to feel disappointed, after all, they’re just human. Let them have their feelings without making you responsible for fixing them or embarrassing yourself for being a “bad” person.
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